Q: I am 58 years old and for the last 40 years I have established 10 New Year’s Resolutions each year—and the for the last 40 years have failed to establish the new habits I desired. What is wrong with me?

A: If something is wrong with you, it’s also wrong with the majority of people who ambitiously embark on a similar journey—usually unsuccessfully. When trying to develop a new habit, the brain is much more successful when it concentrates on ONE resolution only. It take TIME to develop a new habit, load it into long-term memory, and create a strong-enough set of neuronal highways to follow through on it. How long does it take?

There is a long-standing myth that people can create a new habit and have it in place with some automaticity in only twenty-one days. Phillippa Lally et al, a researcher at University College London, examined the habits of ninety-six people over a twelve-week period to determine how long it took each person to go from starting a new behavior to doing it quite automatically. They found that on average it took nearly twelve weeks for the new behavior to become automatic—sixty-six days to be exact (and this was with a fairly simply new habit such as drinking a glass of water before each meal). Some study participants took less than the average time, but others took up to two hundred and fifty-four days. How long it takes can vary widely based on the individual, their mindset, self-talk, commitment, behaviors, and so on. The point is to get started and do whatever it takes to stay motivated to keep on keeping on—and this takes time. Slow and steady wins in the long term. This is what I suggest.

If you choose to make a New Year’s Resolutions, select between one and four only. If you select more than one, prioritize them in how you perceive they will positively impact your life. The one in 1st place starts January 1st. (If you select four, implement a new one at the beginning of each quarter. If two, then implement the second one July 1st). Concentrate on Resolution #1 for a minimum of 12 weeks, using willpower to follow through each day. After three or six months, it will be a well-entrenched habit. Then you can add another one. Be sure to keep up Resolution #1 as you build a habit for Resolution #2.