Sexuality
Q. My son came out to me recently. Though shocked at first, I think I’ve done a credible job of accepting him. I’m not sure how to deal with some of the stuff his 17-year-old brain wants to do like getting a tattoo, dating guys who have not come out to their parents, or getting him a fake ID so he can sneak into a gay bar.
Q. My 17-year-old son just told me he is gay but that I shouldn't worry because he's in good company—Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo were both gay. I told him, in no uncertain terms mind you, that those men were artists and Da Vinci was also a scientist.
Q. I just watched a documentary about people who claim to be asexual. Who’s really asexual for heaven’s sake? Aren’t they just choosing to be celibate?
Q: Recently we took our 10-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son to an ice skating extravaganza. They loved the athletes. At one point my daughter turned to me and said, "I want to marry that skater when I grow up." I smiled and replied, "Maybe you can get to do something like that." A few minutes later my son pointed to a another male skater, who had just executed a flawless quad, and said, "When I grow up I want to marry him." I sat there stunned and could not think of a thing to say. Do you think my son is gay and knows that already? What would you have said?
Q. My nephew, who “came out,” recently told me that I am both biased and prejudiced. I absolutely am not; I love him anyway. What can I do to convince him that he is in error?
Q. Recently I heard about a child who had died while playing a game called Black-Out, and that a pediatrician had been found dead as a result of a similar type of activity. What is it and how does it affect the brain?
Q. How and when does templating for sexual orientation occur in the brain?
Q. Years ago I recall hearing you make a comment about “female brains in male bodies and male brains in female bodies.” I can’t imagine that so many mismatches actually occur between the brain and its housing. I assume, of course, that you were speaking of homosexuals.
Q. I’m fascinated by what I’m learning about cellular memory. Couldn’t epigenetics explain being gay?
Q. A parishioner recently contacted me for help in understanding her son who “says he is gay.” The youngest of four children and the second son, the woman claims that "since birth he has always been more like a daughter than a son." I’ve always been taught that sexual orientation was a flat-out choice and anyone could choose to be either straight or gay. Now I’m beginning to wonder.
Q. My wife and I have two sons: one biological and one adopted. Turns out both of them are gay. Go figure! My wife, who recently read “The Secret,” keeps saying she’s sure they could be straight if they’d just choose to believe they were. Somehow I don’t think so but I can’t be sure.
Q. Do you know of any research related to change therapies or conversion therapies for gays or bisexuals or other ways to treat this mental disorder?
Q. President’s Day (begun in 1796 to commemorate George Washington’s birthday) has always been a huge celebration in our home. Not only because we all admire George Washington but also because it is our wedding anniversary, my birthday, and our daughter’s birthday. My daughter just told us she is lesbian. She wants us to celebrate President’s Day as usual but I’m wondering whether we should just cancel for this year. What do you think?
Q. Have you heard about the retraction by Dr. Robert L. Spitzer of his part in promoting the "gay cure"? Does that mean no effective therapy exists to change a person's innate sexual orientation?
Q. Why haven’t you addressed the gay gene in your Q&As? Has no one asked that question, or are you just avoiding it?
Q. How are the issues that gay males say they face in society different from those that all males face? I don't understand this!
Q. I heard about your new Gender Chromosome Patterns illustration. I can’t find a copy of it and which patterns are for “straight” versus “non-straight” brains?
Q. I heard about your new Gender Chromosome Patterns illustration. I can’t find a copy of it and which patterns are for “straight” versus “non-straight” brains?
Q. According to Dr. Helen Fisher in her book “The First Sex” divorce patterns often run in families. She writes that there may be some inherited physiological tendency that contributes to increased susceptibility to restlessness and divorce. This could include overstimulated receptor sites and/or a reduced production of oxytocin, vasopressin / testosterone. If that’s true, couldn’t patterns of homosexuality run in families?
Q. My daughter insists she's gay. She must be lying because her father and I are straight, so how could she be gay? I've told her to just use her willpower to be straight; but when I say, "Don't think about women and those things," her reply is, "That doesn't work." So what's wrong here?
Q: I have heard that you can tell whether an individual is gay or straight by the length of his or her ring finger. Is that true?
Q. I’m fascinated by the topic of “mirror neurons.” Are there any books about mirror neurons and any impact on sexual behaviors?
Q. I enjoy your Q&As, but I’m wondering why you haven’t just come out and said what causes a brain to not be heterosexual? It seems as if you’re dancing around that issue.
Q. When someone who is gay comes to our church don’t I have an obligation to confront them about their behavior?
Q. Our 23-year-old middle son just "came out." His father is absolutely livid and says it's all my fault because "you had the fetus last." He now wants nothing to do with our son and is actually considering filing for divorce.
Q. What's all this hype about a researcher apologizing for recommending change-therapy for people whose sexual orientation isn't straight? We've known that's possible for at least 20 years.
Q. I learned that several more states voted in favor of same-sex marriage and cannot imagine what they were thinking! I mean, really, that is just a vote in favor of promiscuity and the Deity cannot be pleased.
Q. Recently a friend told me that the brain has several "sex centers" but I can't find a book that describes this in language I can understand. Isn't this trying to make something that should be very simple and straight-forward rather too complex?
Q. A friend told me recently that males and females begin life with both sets of sex organs and that each possess the same hormones. That’s probably just another one of those theories to justify bisexuality. Have you ever heard of such rubbish?
Q. How and when does templating for sexual orientation occur in the brain?
Q: What causes a child to grow up straight versus gay or bisexual?
Q. I work at an acute hospital that is accredited by The Joint Commission. For heaven's sake, have they become pro-gay?
Q. My theological training has resulted in my belief that homosexuals must be asexual in order to be saved. We all read the same Bible but a few of my colleagues differ in their beliefs. Which position represents the truth?
Q: I am unable to even have a conversation with people who "do it" differently from straights. For my part, I wish they would all just disappear. I feel really ill when I think about it; yet I can't seem to stop thinking about it!
Q. I enjoyed your PowerPoint® presentation about the tsunami of romantic love. Being totally in love with another human being, I know what that feels like—it’s beyond wonderful. Here’s my dilemma: this individual doesn’t seem to love me back. I’ve tried everything I can think of and I sense a moderate friendship response but no love in return. What is the formula to make this brain love me?
Q. I’ve been looking for a book to help explain more about what creates a female versus a male. In other words, I’m beginning to think there’s more to this process than just whether the fetus has a XY chromosome pattern versus a XX. Do you know of any books that are “readable” for a non-scientist?
