Self-Esteem
Q. One of my students seems to be turning into a bully. What does that relate to?
Q. I have a friend who brings me some little gift when she visits. It may be a card, a jar of jam, or an article on brain function. However, she almost always points this out to whomever else is present, saying, “Look what I brought for...” I don’t mind her doing this, but it's childish behavior. What would trigger her brain to do this?
Q. One of my children acts like a doormat; the other expects to be treated like royalty. What is wrong with their brains?
Q. I am interested in knowing how you compete with the myriad of other motivational speakers who are doing the same thing you are doing?
Q. As a company administrator, I have made it a policy to mentor younger individuals, usually quite successfully. Recently an employee whom I mentored for several years moved to a different organization. Initially, it seemed they wanted to continue our association and even expand it to a personal friendship since we were no longer working for the same entity (and I am careful to avoid mixing business with pleasure). As they moved up the ladder in the new position, however, it seemed a level of competition has developed and strained the relationship. They do many things well and have some excellent skills but frankly they differ from mine. I have always stressed the concept of identifying and honing “your own gifts” rather than trying to copy another’s style and mimic what they do very well. Over the past couple of years I’ve sensed a distancing by this individual unless they want something from me. The perception of some observers is that there may be a lack of accurate perception about what they do well. Any ideas?
Q. My daughter spoke to you after one of your lectures and asked if the Space Agency ever hired brain function specialists and she might like that type of job. According to her you said, “I don’t know.” Did you really say that and isn’t that type of response undermining your credibility?
Q. There are a couple of girls in my dormitory who have experienced date rape. One of them has turned into a little mouse, afraid of her own shadow; the other has become overly assertive, determined to get you before you get her. Honestly, what’s the big deal? So, they are victims of date rape. Is there some reason they don’t “just get over it” and get on with life, for heaven’s sake?
Q. I am quite sure that not everyone likes you and you know that. So how do you deal with knowing that?
Q. I heard you speak about the link between dehydration and dementia. Wonderful information. However, when asked one particular question you replied, “That is outside my area of study and currently I am unfamiliar with research that could help me give you an appropriate answer.” Don’t you find it embarrassing to admit you don’t have an answer—and you a Brain Function Specialist? I would be—big time—and for a long time!
Q. After spending a couple of decades taking care of my husband and four children, I finally obtained my GED and recently enrolled in junior college. When I leave/return from class, however, my husband often makes derogatory remarks (e.g., don’t bring any of "those lesbian classmates" home). I don’t understand what’s going on and this doesn’t seem fair.
Q: Both my husband and son are gifted at auto mechanics. They work together, have a thriving business, and people love to bring their cars in to be fixed. Several of my son’s friends have become medical doctors and joke that my son had to settle for fixing vehicles because he wasn’t smart enough to fix people. My son laughs but I know those comments make him a bit uncomfortable. What would you tell him?
Q. A lady I know frequently finds fault with friends of ours, and shares confidential information. What type of brain does this?
Q: Earlier in life I concentrated on my career early in life and only married in my fifties. My right-brained husband is a wonderful man in many ways. Shortly after our marriage, however, he quit his job as manager in a fast-food restaurant. We had not agreed to that prior to marriage. I thought he was going to get another job but the reality is that he hasn't worked in the 11 years since. There is always an excuse: “no jobs,” pay is too low,” “hours aren’t good,” “can’t get weekend days off,” “he needs to be a house-husband” since my job is busy and stressful at a VP level. I'd like to retire but I can't support two on my pension. It is so frustrating. I love him but am losing respect for him. How can he be satisfied to be living off me? I believe he felt better about himself when he was working as a manager. I neither need nor want a house husband and I feel manipulated. Some nights I don’t even really want to see him—all rested and relaxing around the house. He may have made dinner but it didn’t take all afternoon and I can get a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a month. Do you think he has a brain problem?
Q. For as long as I can remember I’ve felt negative about myself. How does that happen?
Q. I’ve always struggled with self-esteem issues and I’m not sure why. Can you give me some possible reasons?
Q. I’ve never heard anyone talk about Life Satisfaction at all until I read your book, “Longevity Lifestyle Matters.” I cannot think of any things or events in my life that would qualify as “life satisfaction.” Am I looking for the wrong thing?
Q. How do you deal with negative comments, especially when they are directed toward you?
Q. Recently I attended your week-long seminar and can hardly believe how much I learned. There were, however, some attendees who ask the most ridiculous questions. And I mean ridiculous! How does your brain remain calm and civil?
Q. I could not believe the arrogance exhibited at a recent convention. One of the speakers even said “God gave me a message for you today and He’ll forgive me for taking the time I need.” That was rude to the last presenter who only had a fraction of the allotted time and who had the most helpful content of all! I was so frustrated! What was with their brains? Where was the moderator?
Q. I’ve heard you say that this is the “Age of the Brain.” I’m about to decide it is really the “Age of Criticism.” There are things I’d like to do in life, but I know someone would criticize my efforts and I doubt I could handle that. I would die if someone criticized my efforts. How do you manage criticism?