Q. I have a couple of “friends” who always seem in a rush. If we’re on the phone they are always in a hurry or must take another call or say, “I’ll phone you right back,” and then rarely do. I even found out they were actually in my part of town and didn’t bother to connect. Why do they act like that?

A. Genuine friendships require time to stay connected, to communicate and chat with each other, to eat together, and affirm and care about each other. Individuals who do not commit to that may not know what a genuine friendship looks like or may be interested only in a superficial relationship or make contact only when they want something from you. It would appear that you are not a priority for them. It matters less what they say and more about how they behave. If you have a disagreement or say something the other person doesn’t like, they can leave or disconnect immediately. They “move on” putting no effort into figuring out how to resolve what they didn’t like—because the relationship is not that important to them. These brains tend to be very superficial, moving from friendship to friendship, relationship to relationship, coming around only when they want something and never coming to understand the depth of love that a true friendship can achieve. You cannot change them. Maya Angelou said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an infrequent option.”