Q: My beloved partner of 40 years died six months ago. I cannot accept that this really happened. Why am I left alone? Why me? I wander around the house looking at pictures and crying. A friend of mine says this behavior is slowly killing me. I don’t want to live anyway. What’s the difference?

A: I truly regret that your partner died and that you are now living alone. However, the behavior you are describing is no credit to your “beloved partner.” Do you think your “beloved partner” would like the way you are behaving? Would that appear as a positive way in which to remember? Death hurts. Period. That is the reason a grief recovery process is required so you can return to a state of feeling better. Do something. See a counselor. Access the mini-monograph on my website:


Why you? Why not you? This has happened and is happening to many others. That does not make it desirable, but you are not alone in experiencing this. Ask yourself, is the way in which you are choosing to behave be a credit to the person you love? Although your “beloved partner” is not here with you in tangible presence, you carry the memories within your very cells.

Grieve, yes. Heal, definitely. Recover and live a life your partner would be proud to see you living—not one that would be an embarrassment for the years you spent together. In my brain’s opinion, that is how you memorialize the memory of a person you love. You may be able to help many through the example of your life of healthy grieving and healthy recovery. What a great legacy!