Q. I heard you say that anger is just a signal to get your attention and tell you your boundaries have been invaded. Okay, I get that. But I'm still fuming about that boundary invasion three days later.
A. Someone once said that holding onto anger against another person is like holding onto a burning coal that you plan to throw—eventually. You're the one who ends up getting burned, however. Use the energy that the emotion of anger generates to take constructive action to prevent placing yourself in a similar situation in the future, to heal from the injustice, and to set appropriate boundaries. Fuming burns up that energy in a rather unhelpful and futile fashion. It is your choice how much energy you want to devote to this issue.