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My brain’s opinion is that being blamed for something could trigger downshifting. The descriptor I use in presentations related to downshifting is this:
In situations that involve trauma, crisis, fear, or any type of threat (anything that triggers a sense of helplessness) the brain tends to direct its attention and energy automatically toward lower brain areas attempting to access functions it believes will promote safety.
Being blamed for something, especially in a “scapegoat” situation, could fall into the arena of fear or any type of threat. In such situations, there is a sense that in some way or another the person did not meet expectations (e.g., failed to do something that should have been done, did something that should not have been done).
In that type of situation, hopefully the individual being blamed understands the natural brain phenomenon of downshifting, and as soon as he/she realizes the brain is downshifted, implements a pre-planned strategy to get upshifted.
Once upshifted, it is important to evaluate the situation carefully and accept responsibility for his/her part—and, equally important—avoid taking responsibility for anything for which the person could not really be responsible. Taking inappropriate responsibility is as dysfunctional as failing to take appropriate responsibility for your actions. Then, figure out what you could do differently another time in order to realize a positive outcome.
Sadness is the appropriate emotion when your brain has experienced a loss. Obviously, there are at least two unexpected losses here. Crying is a gesture of deep emotion. Most brains can and do gesture loss through tears, especially brains that have their energy advantage in the right frontal lobe of the cerebrum. After some period of time, most brains stop crying about the loss, unless you are focused on the loss and keeping that in the forefront of working memory. When feelings of loss overwhelm you, and you fear that you will never again be happy, follow every sad thought with one of gratitude. I don’t know the circumstances of their deaths but it might go something like this: “I regret this happened AND I am grateful that I was able to get to know both my aunt and my cousin.” “I no longer have these two people in my life in a tangible sense AND I carry them in my mind and heart the rest of my life.” “I miss my aunt and my cousin and I remember the time when we…” And so on.
The natural brain phenomenon of downshifting is not synonymous with the emotion of sadness. Some people become fearful when they have experiences a loss, a death in the family, and do downshift. Others do not. In other words, you can be grieving a loss from an upshifted position. Remembering the individuals with gratitude, recalling times that you laughed together and had fun, can help your brain to upshift.
Refer to “Upshift, Downshift, and About Shift” PowerPoint® slideshow [PDF] on my website. Also available on DVD.
Refer to Grief Recovery Pyramid for additional information.
Downshifting is a mixed-metaphor term that addresses a natural brain phenomenon. Some writers actually use that word (e.g., Leslie Hart, Marie Barron, Joseph Chilton Pearce), while Robert Sylwester prefers the terms reflective versusreflexive. I like the word downshifting, as it is an easy way to help you wrap your hands around the concept.
Briefly, the brain can be described in terms of three functional layers that, in turn, can be compared to gears in a vehicle. When you are driving a vehicle and the going gets tough, the automatic transmission shifts to a lower gear to help you get through. A similar situation can occur in the brain. In situations of trauma, crisis, or in the presence of any type of fear, the brain tends to downshift automatically as it attempts to access resources that promote personal safety or that are perceived to be safer. This natural phenomenon results in an automatic shift of attention and energy away from the thinking-brain layer toward the lower brain layers, and it can do so outside of conscious awareness. The emotional-brain layer (2nd gear) responds to signals of danger from both the action-brain layer (1st gear) and the thinking-brain layer (3rd gear). Signals of danger that might be perceived from the thinking-brain layer include evaluation, criticism, and anxieties created in one’s own imagination.
When an individual is feeling insecure, anxious, undecided, and tense, the focus of attention can become divided among the three brain layers. Each brain layer has its own agenda, in effect. Thus the person may think one thing, feel another, and act from impulses that are completely different from either of the other two.
Even a good thing taken to the extreme can become deleterious. For example, you would not want your attention and energy focused primarily toward the lower brain layers for prolonged periods of time. The good news? Your brain is so complex and capable that you can think about and implement preplanned strategies to help increase conscious awareness and high-level thinking—even when your brain is temporarily in a downshifted state.
The natural phenomenon of downshiftingmay help to explain what might be happening in your case. Think of your brain as having several interconnecting layers. Each is known for distinct functions, though all functional systems constantly interact. You can compare your brain layers to gears in a vehicle.
When you are driving a vehicle and the going gets tough, the automatic transmission shifts to a lower gear to help you get through. A similar situation can occur in the brain. This helps to explain why children who experience chronic or severe short-term stress can regress (downshift) and begin to exhibit survival behaviors. This brain phenomenon is not limited to children. It can happen to humans of any age.
In situations of trauma, or crisis (e.g., death of a family member, severe illness, hospitalization, prolonged adapting), or in the presence of any type of fear—all forms of stress—the brain tends to downshift automatically to access responses it perceives to be safer and/or that will promote safety.
When in a downshifted state, you are more likely to exhibit defensive, reactive, or deeply ingrained behaviors. For example:
