There are sequential steps to forgiveness that could be helpful in your brain’s process of deciding to forgive. Guidelines are given by Robert D. Enright PhD in his book FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE - A step-by-step process for resolving anger & restoring hope. According to the author, guidelinesfor forgiving consist of four phases: uncovering your anger; deciding to forgive; working on forgiveness; discovery and release from emotional prison. The time of healing may vary from person to person and from case to case, with more time required for greater hurt and injustice. It is a process. Avoid discouragement if anger and hurt resurface again. Work the process, preferably with the help of a support person who is experienced in forgiveness. (Book review by Vijai K. Sharma.)

The process of forgiveness includes six stages:

  1. Clearly stating actual wrong
  2. Define the debt incurred
  3. Transfer debt to your Higher Power
  4. Mark debt “paid in full”
  5. Absorb cost for your healing
  6. Live forgiveness in everyday life

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