EQ is not fixed at birth. It is learned (or not learned). You can develop increased EQ through a step-by-step process which is not difficult and not simple, either. EQ can be honed throughout life. (Singh, Dalip. Emotional Intelligence at Work. India: Sage Publications Pvt. Ltd. 2006, pp 50, 59-64)

Key ingredients of effective programs to teach EQ include:

  • Identify, label, and express
  • Assessing intensity
  • Impulse control
  • Delay of gratification
  • Difference between feelings and actions
  • Appropriate self-talk
  • Reading/interpreting social cues
  • Understanding others’ perspective
  • Positive mindset
  • Self-awareness
  • Verbal and nonverbal skills

(Goleman, Daniel, PhD. Emotional Intelligence. NY: Bantam Books, 1995, pp 301-302)

EQ can be cultivated and learned in childhood and at any stage of life. It matters immensely for one’s personal destiny (e.g., more crucial to happiness than intellectual intelligence), although it is routinely ignored in educational institutions in favor of academic abilities. (Koch, Richard. The 80:20 Principle. NY:Currency Doubleday, 1999, p 223)