Is there something you have always wanted to do but have not done it because you think you can't? That perspective was holding back a young man who had so much going for him but who was stuck in "I can't" thinking. Our conversation triggered this issue's article, "If You Think You Can…"
After spending nearly three years writing the Longevity Lifestyle Matters books and LLM program, Taylor is again doing more live presentations. Check out the Speaking Schedule on her website.
Steve Horton just returned from Manila, The Philippines, where LLM Certified Facilitators led by Abraham Carpena PhD are presenting the first Longevity Lifestyle Matters program. Recently Taylor was in Camarillo where Dr. David Lowe and Flo Lowe are hosting their first Longevity Lifestyle Matters program. Later this year Taylor will be in Australia where David Stojcic, a Longevity Lifestyle Matters Certified Facilitator and PhD candidate—along with two new LLM CFs (Beverly Rey and Annette Hofman—is hosting the first Longevity Lifestyle Matters program in Australia. Are you on board with a Longevity Lifestyle?
Q & A
Q. Help! This is a second marriage for me. My husband really spoiled his only daughter (she is now age 25) and I mean really spoiled her! Her mother died when she was 11 and he was a single parent. It's over the top! She is gorgeous and flatters him continually. If she wants money, Daddy forks it over. If she wants to talk because she is bored or lonesome or had what she terms a "frightening experience," he spends hours on the phone and at her place. She married two years ago and if her husband so much as looks at her crosswise (her words), she is on the phone to Daddy. Every little thing that happens is a major crisis and, of course, she has no problem-solving skills because "Daddy has always rushed around solving everything for her." She may be age 25 but is an 11-year-old emotionally and mentally. I have no idea what she will do when her daddy dies. I do know that he and I have no meaningful relationship. It doesn't matter what we have planned or what we are doing. His little girl comes first. In a restaurant, he will leave the table to go outside and talk to her, leaving me sitting patiently alone. If I say anything about the time involved, he says I don't understand how his daughter needs him and tells me to stop being jealous. If she finds out what we are doing or where we are going there is always a crisis. She views anyone that her daddy likes—including me, his new wife as of one year ago—as a threat. She must be first with him and is sneakily manipulative. She is sugary sweet to me on the surface when we meet, and then trashes me to him behind my back and begs him to dump me because "she's not good enough for you." She's done that with every friendship he's had since her mother's death. I do not know what he gets out of it. Help! Answer...
Q. My twins, a boy and a girl, must be going through the "terrible twos," so-called. Well, they really are! It's just "no, no, no, no, no...." until I want to tear out my hair. My neighbor says that every time the twins say "no" if we put them alone in their room they will learn to say "yes." Do you think this will work? Answer...
Q. My mom had a difficult childhood with a difficult mother (the woman that my mom is turning in to each and every day). Her dad moved away to start a new family when my mom was 2 severing all ties to the family. In turn, my grandma sent my mom away to live with various relatives for sporadic amounts of time up until the age of 11. My mom says that there are big gaps of time in her childhood that she cannot remember. She remembers meeting her mother when she was 11 years old and was brought back to live with her and new stepdad, who proceeded to have three more girls. Guess what? My mom became their built-in babysitter. I am thinking this has to do with why my mom does not seem to "attach to people." She seems to live in a state of every person for him or herself. Some days she is loving and wants us around and the next day she accuses us of mistreating her and of not meeting her needs and wants nothing to do with us. I swear that it's like an 80-year-old acting like an angry 2-year-old. Crazy making! I could write pages about her behaviors that are driving all of us nuts trying to deal with her. What do you think is going on? Answer...
Q. I have been working on raising my level of Emotional Intelligence and every small improvement seems to provide even bigger positive results in my life. I have several close friends who are not on that bandwagon with me. How do I get them to change? Answer...
Q. Our fraternal twins have been self-identified as being gay. My husband and I accept them as they are and we have a happy family. As they are approaching middle-teen years, however, and are dating and developing teen-age crushes, a problem has arisen. Both tell us: "You don't understand what it feels like to be in love (or dumped by someone you really like), because you are straight, not gay." What do I tell them? Answer...
Healthier replacements. A good idea, especially knowing that taste buds replace themselves every two weeks or so. Taylor has added recipes containing healthier replacements for Treattata, Cherry Pie, Gravy, and other goodies. You may want to try them and then tweak some of your own favorites.
Follow Taylor's weekday blog and stimulate your brain while learning more brain bits. Access Taylor's blog from the website homepage (www.arlenetaylor.org), have it sent directly to your email, or access it from her Facebook page (Arlene R. Taylor PhD Brain Function Specialist).
Brain Aerobic Exercises
Are you spending a minimum of 30 minutes a day age-proofing your brain with brain aerobic exercises and other challenging mental activity? There are hundreds of aerobic exercises on Taylor's website. They're free, along with the articles, practical applications, mini-monographs, Q&As, brain references, assessments, and more.…
Point to Ponder
Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others.
—Wayne W. Dyer PhD
You are the only person who can embrace positive change for yourself; the only person who can create and live a Longevity Lifestyle—for you. No one else can do it for you, and it's amazing what you can do for yourself when you catch the vision and choose to grow. By the same token you cannot force others to change. You can role model and encourage them, but they are the only ones who can make positive changes for themselves. Once you really get this concept you may save a great deal of wasted energy.