Q. Every time something stressful happens I ask, “Why me?” But I never get an answer!

A. I suppose it could be just as valid to turn that question around and ask why not me? Life doesn't come with any guarantee that we'll be exempt from loss. In fact, as one bumper sticker put it, Life is hard and then you die. We chuckle, or we don't chuckle, but it needles into our subconscious.

A friend of mine said, once I accepted that life is hard, it truly doesn't seem so difficult.Perhaps that reflects, at least in part, the power of expectations. That's been true in my life. I recognize life is hard. Consequently, during those times when life seems less difficult I feel like I've just received a gift. Living is an up and down course. When life seems easier I regroup for the times that I know will come when things will seem more difficult.

A hospital chaplain expressed it this way: Life on earth is not fair. Disasters do not make sense. The guilty are not always punished, the innocent are not always set free, and the generous are not always rewarded. Everybody suffers in some way. Even those who play by the rules get hurt. The question we ask our Higher Power is, 'will you give us the strength to get through the loss?' The answer is always yes.

My computer hard drive crashed a couple of months ago and I heard myself asking the very same question. In that situation it was more of an attempt at conversation, or my off-the-wall humor. Whatever, the repair technician took it seriously and his response was thought-provoking.

Setting down both screwdriver and magnifying glass and looking me right in the eye, he said, It had nothing to do with you. A chip in your computer just went bad. It would probably have failed regardless of who owned it. You just happened to be the owner and now you get to deal with its failure.