All Rights Reserved Worldwide 2011
Being normal. What’s that all about? I did the good girl two-step for a long time. Husband, children, house, then...a divorce.
Everyone was mystified. "Wasn’t he a good provider?" "My goodness, no one else in the family has ever had a divorce!"
Truth be known, I was stifled (and abused, but that’s another story). I tried to fit in with my parents, in school with friends, but it never worked. Getting married was my way out. Well, I went from the frying pan into the fire.
I was not normal, obviously, if I couldn’t follow the plan, the one laid out by someone else. I was called "dramatic," yet no one could tell me what that really meant. No one could tell me anything about myself, my spirit, and my so-called "dramatic" moments. I was different, and not in a good way. I was left out of many adventures because people could not label me (other than the drama!) nor could they be comfortable with my points of view.
I solved the problem by leaving. It was difficult, to say the least; however, I did everything I could under the eyes of extremely watchful husband and parents to get out! And I got out. About two miles away.
It took a little more time to move three thousand miles away. But that’s another story that includes such bright spots as my mother and ex-husband-to-be’s attempt at kidnapping my children.
Since I was emotionally bankrupt and had never been taught how to deal with issues such as these, I was not really stunned, just shut down. However, my motherly instincts and my trusty intuition prevailed (although I did not know what intuition was at the time); and with God’s angels watching over me, I left on the continuing adventure of finding out what being normal was.
I moved to a place where I knew no one, had very little money, no car, no job, no place to live, no furniture, and three kids, one cat, twelve pieces of luggage, and the strength and courage only God could provide.
The dilemma was that old saying so aptly describes: “Wherever you go, there you are.” Although my emotional abandonment issues still prevailed, my need to provide for my children was overriding.
Lo and behold, even these new people thought I was "different"! What was this all about? The label followed me wherever I went.
I hit many bumps and boulders along the way. I had to be strong to take care of my kids. Yet there was no real joy for me. Moments of happiness filtered in, or so I thought. I still wondered what was going to happen to me. Notice the word, happen. I did not even have the ability to think I was in charge of anything. I was a workaholic. This working habit kept me occupied so I could not see the truth. However, no one ever trained me to see anything, let alone what was true for me. So I blundered along and events occurred that made me feel a wee bit powerful.
A friend invited me to present a seminar appropriately title: “The Anger Workshop.” I discovered I liked being in front of the room and helping people overcome limiting beliefs. I was unaware that I was experiencing many of these same symptoms.
I continued for years designing and presenting seminars to large and small groups. All my presentations were well thought out and pragmatic, although they elicited quite an array of emotions from the participants.
Some events failed. The failure was not in the content but in no-shows. I figured it was something I did wrong. I had no one to turn to because to do so would let people know I was probably incompetent. Whatever was going wrong had to be my fault.
These adventures took their toll and I stopped helping people in this manner. I turned back to business, which I thought I knew well. I combined both my interpersonal teaching skills and my business skills, thinking this has to work for me as well as them.
Again, success and failure, failure and success. No joy there either, just momentary sparks of laughter. I now know it was a lack of confidence.
Then I met Arlene Taylor. Well, not really met. A mutual friend, another angel sent by God, advised me to attend Dr. Taylor's seminar The Brain Program that included the Benziger Thinking Style Assessment.
I signed up ASAP. I sat in the back of the room vibrating in my chair. I discovered why people called me dramatic or different. It wasn’t drama; it was creativity! Well, maybe a little drama there as well.
My family of origin had no creativity that I can recall. That is why I was looked upon as different. Thank the powers that be! I discovered so much about myself—how I sublimated my creativity and emotions, why I was tired all the time (staying too long in the sometimes exhausting side of my brain), and why there was very little joy in my life.
Soon after completing this seminar, I was called out of the blue by the local newspaper to write a business article! I had never written before even though others thought I should. I had little confidence in my ability and less in my writing skills.
The next thing I knew, I was asked to write an article a week for publication every Friday. I sat down every Wednesday and wrote an article. My first article still stands as an evergreen article, good for a very long time.
Next, I decided to write a book. I was lucky (another angel?) to find the right book coach for this huge step. I even asked Dr. Taylor to write the foreword. I knew so little, I even edited Arlene’s foreword! I did not know this was not the thing to do. I knew nothing. I just kept moving, writing articles, letting my folders pile up on the floor and on my desk. I was happy. I was a creative person!
I went on to write five more books, numerous articles, as well as content for my new website and business. My daughter—another creative who knows it—and I designed a business that would include each of our skills.
Now I work with leaders who want more focus, strategic clarity, profitability, and sustained success—business owners, politicians, entrepreneurs, and soon, leaders of countries.
Our business, Gemma & Bixley, LLC, is built on a foundation of strategic business thinking and intuitive guidance, along with an integrated whole-brain approach.
If it were not for my fortunate meeting with Arlene Taylor, none of this current creativity would have happened. I still have a ways to go in particular areas of my life. Other angels have appeared and I have to pay attention. I will.
I now know that being normal is what I am, a creative person with a different point of view. I do not need anyone else’s approval for my distinct approach. I just trust and have faith that I am on my path and the angels will show up to support me.
Joanne Victoria, co-founder of Gemma & Bixley and a Professional Business Intuitive, has been a business practitioner for over 25 years as a real estate broker/owner, CFO of an investment company, CFO and Sales & Marketing Director of a home-building company, and CEO of her former business, New Directions.
Joanne is the author of five books including: Vision With a Capital V—Create the Business of Your Dreams, Lighting Your Path—How To Create the Life You Want, How To Achieve Your Dream Business, and Pushy For a Moment—Instant Solutions to Everyday Challenges.